The Problem with Wife Expectations

Ervin Fowlkes
2 min readMar 2, 2014


I had a thought the other day I’d like to share.

Your wife and your vision of a wife may have been created in 2 different time periods.

I have a lot of conversations with my married friends around how marriage isn’t at all what we thought it would be. A lot of guys today have images of June Cleaver spring into their mind. This attachment to a vision of what role your wife will play in your life is abruptly shattered when you meet your actual wife.

If a man’s first thoughts of a wife are created in his childhood through what he sees from his mother, He’s already created a vision based on a previous generation. That generation’s rules, mindset, notions and ways are already outdated by the time the young man hits the dating pool.

The only way to keep this process congruent is in a very structured passing down of customs generationally from mother to daughter. The problem there is that a mother is then preparing her child for a context that may not exist in the future. So they don’t do it.

June Cleaver was wonderful, but she was fictional. In the real world we all must adapt the same way my father pushed me into learning about computers and eschewed me away from manufacturing.

In conclusion, we as men must understand the Jobs we hire wives for on all three levels Functional, Social and Emotional and then realize those Jobs are different than why are Dads hired our Moms.



Ervin Fowlkes

#JTBD Consultant. Born in Detroit and proud of it. I believe wherever you are is exactly where you belong. Life is Win or Learn.